Wednesday, May 19, 2010

The Swimming

Good week everyone and tons of apologies for not making the post for the last two weeks. I was in Ghana for a shoot and believe it or not I had no access to the internet. If only I knew what I know now about the blackberry. I’m beginning to see the use of that little gadget more and more everyday that passes by. I don’t know why I’m always the last to embrace new technologies. The problem, I think, is that I do not see the point of buying something just because everyone else is buying it, at least until I begin to see the need for the something in my life. So with hulking grudging reluctance, I humbly submit that I do have need for the blackberry to keep in contact with you my dear readers.

I know you’re expecting news from my first time in Accra, Ghana But sadly there is very little to talk about because I was on set for most of the time. What I can say though is that Ghana is one hot country. It was so hot I had to plan and rehearse what I wanted to do for the day and dash out with the ferocity of a mother hen taking a break from trying to hatch her eggs to forage for food. Oh, just as an aside, did I tell you it was my birthday yesterday? I know, Frieda says it all the time; I love attention so I thank you to keep the belated wishes coming!

The project I worked on was a sort of romantic comedy where I played an egotistical presenter of a popular reality show who was at loggerheads with a female co presenter with an equally inflated ego in the person of Uche Jombo. It was good fun bickering and finding all sorts of subtle insulting words to hurl at each other. The crunch came as the scene where I had to save her from drowning fast approached. You see, I had just given up a vice that I have long struggled with (and no, I am not telling you what vice it was/is? – Mama might read this someday) and as a result began to gain weight at an astronomical rate. It didn’t help that the lady who took care of our welfare was especially fond of me in a mother and son sort of way. She was one of those wonderful women for whom cooking is an expression of love and have a firm idea of how that love should be reciprocated. It was a daily battle to keep my rations as low as possible instead of the terrifying platters that were placed before me at every given opportunity. All my morning rope jumping didn’t seem to have much of an effect in my battle of the bulge.
The day finally came and I put on my shorts but kept my T-shirt on till the very last moment, sucked my tummy in, jumped into the pool and stayed in there until it became absolutely necessary that I came out. My efforts at acting – for which I was paid – took second place to trying to suck my tummy in all through the scene, pretty much like those 40’s to 60’s movies where octogenarian star actors try to be heroes saving damsels in distress. I was supposed to, on leaving the pool, brush aside a cantankerous ‘Uche’, accidentally shove her into the pool, realise that she is drowning, dive in to save her and drag her out of the pool. Now imagine me doing all this while trying to hang on to my dignity. I kept my verbal responses to her tirades at the barest minimum – my lungs had more important interests to protect. I went through all that pain only to realise later that Uche in her BB mania had tweeted a very nice snapshot of our shenanigans which was surreptitiously snapped up by one of the dreaded gossip columnist’s blogsites. I am in trouble! Those spare rolls revealed. The titters! I’m dumping you Frieda; my new girlfriend’s the gym. Until my affair with her is over, you are taking second place! It’s for your benefit anyway considering how much you love ‘it’! Hehehe!

Well you heard it from me first so don’t pay any mind to any stale second hand tales that will be coming your way. Once again, many apologies for the lengthy hiatus. Do have a great week everyone!

10 comments:

  1. Smiling. Good to know you are struggling like anyone of us with the bugle he he he was i laughing terrible of me. Anyway enjoy the painful aching,aching muscles your new babe will be giving you. Enjoy the rest of the week.

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  2. Welcome back. Happy belated birthday wishes. I hope you had a beautiful day. Many happy returns.

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  3. welcome back! i didnt know naija actors cared about rolls etc lol i like Uche jumbo (i dunno her surname makes me think of an elephant....maybe its d dumbo ....jumbo rhyme)
    anyhoo HAPPY BIRTHDAY! well belated, no matter..............what did u eat in Ghana? all d ghanaian delicacies (kai i sound like a grandma!! ignore d question lol)

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  4. Lol, this post might not have been so funny to me, had I not already caught sight of those photos on the net. It's not so bad. Good luck in the gym.

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  5. Welcome back o, and belated birthday wishes. LOL at your battle of the budge, will be looking forward to the movie.

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  6. Haa haa! Very ouch! Uche did that to you?loool,hilarious!
    Oh and happy birthday in arrears hope you had a swell time 

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  7. Happy Belated Birthday! May you see many, many more wonderful years!

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  8. Hmmmmmmmmmmh K, I know it`s late but all the same: Hope your birthday blossoms into lots of dreams come true!!!

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  9. So cool... Uche Jumbo is good. But i cant help bt imagine a love scene wit u & her. Wow, Goliath & David. I dint say that. Cant wait 2 see ds flick. Uche is kinda sharp tougued.. It will be so hot... Help me & thank d correct woman dat took 'extra' care of my B. Man. Happier years ahead, handsome...

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  10. Since Ghana is hot, it might have been fun jumping in and out of the pool, lol. Here´s to another year of experience.

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