Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Calabar For Real This Time 2

They sat (Good week everyone!) down beside us. They were both on the full side, size wise, not fat, just full. One was light in complexion and the other dark and both were good looking in a hard sort of way. The fair complexioned lady, who seemed to be the more dominant of the two, looked to be in her thirties or a very matured mid twenties and had a set smile on her lips and an even more set look in her eyes. She sat at my left and leaned precariously towards me while her partner sat at the other side of X. Leaning forward to put away the serviette I’d just wiped my hands with, I caught sight of her chest under her open necked shirt, and discreetly paused to take a closer look. Half the vee of her chest that was revealed was covered in a mass of tight hairy curls. The odd thing was that she seemed oblivious to this ‘anomaly’ and instead seemed to flaunt it, promising furrier delights underneath to those for whom it was a preference. We took pictures with them and went into the ward to complete the scenes we had left. When we came out four hours later we saw to our surprise, the two ladies seated calmly right outside the ward, waiting. The fair fuzzy lady had the same set smile on her lips, and eyes, looking like she would never take no for an answer no matter what harsh or derogatory words she’d be assailed with.

We greeted them and walked past to our car. Fortunately for us, we had been given one of the props, an SUV, to drive about with since Calabar was a relatively safe and quiet city which was quite convenient for us as we could move about at night as we pleased - never mind that we didn’t get the chance to utilize this rare gift. Our dilemma started when we realized we had no clue on how we were to make our way back to the hotel. The main crew wasn’t done with their location shots and so couldn’t accompany us. We were scratching our heads over what to do when two angels of mercy came from nowhere to rescue us from our maze – yes, our very ladies in waiting. See, it does pay to be kind and accommodating. They had a car of their own and asked us where we were headed. We told them our hotel was in Asari Eso road just near the airport and they exclaimed they knew the place; it was
‘right’ near where they lived, so we spat in our palms, shook hands in agreement (just kidding) and set off behind them. As we drove on we began to discuss what their motives could possibly be and I stated the obvious; they probably wanted to cuddle us to sleep. We then fell into an argument about which one of us was their target and I teased X to take a chance. The ladies weren’t bad looking, they wanted him and made no bones about it, plus he had curly hair to nestle into – that evoked a cry of panic from him. We looked around to see if there were any landmarks we could recognize so we could veer off the beaten track and escape to safety but there were none. We meekly followed; and then God intervened.

There was a police checkpoint ahead of us and they let the ladies pass; we weren’t so ‘lucky’. Our vehicle had no number plates, was a luxury SUV, had tree male occupants – the still photographer was with us, all potent ingredients for armed robbery suspects. We were pulled to the side and had torchlights shone in our faces and then an exclamation, “Na you? And you! I know una now! Una dey act film!” We smiled and said hello to them and after a little banter about what we came to Calabar for and pleasantries they let us go. To our relief we found the ladies’ car was nowhere in sight and better still, we were familiar with the area. We zoomed off and spotted their car waiting in a side street nearby. X didn’t need me to tell him what to do. He stepped on the accelerator and I was hurled back in the seat I espied their car reversing onto the main road through the side mirror. It was a race back to the hotel and as soon as we got to our street X leaned on the horn and we blared our way to the hotel gates. The foolish gateman obviously had more important or no – thing(s) on his mind because he drowsily opened the gates thirty seconds later, by which time the ladies had caught up with us. Cursing, X drove maniacally into the compound, jumped out of the car without bothering to turn the engine off and ran into his suite – the judas – leaving me all alone to contend with them! I turned off the engine, locked the car and walked up to them and thanked them for their help. They pooh poohed my gratitude insisting it was their pleasure to be of help and then Fair asked me if I wanted to go out for a drink or if I wanted to stay up and chat a little while. I told them I was smashed and had an early day the next day. They told me they’d be back the next day. True to their word, not only did they turn up, they also got “waka pass” roles in the project we were working on. Suffice it to say it had nothing to do with X or me.

Here almost ends my tale about my trip. There’s so much more to write but it would probably turn into a soap opera by the time I’m done; this story alone has been stretched a little bit. I think it’s a good thing to be on the lookout for events or people that could turn into wonderful or interesting memories to us that will make us remember them and smile. I think this is the difference between living a relaxed and fulfilling life and living a stress filled one full of bitterness. There’s always something to carry away from every experience we go through no matter how drab. Let’s lighten our load by stashing away memories we can pull out in future to laugh at with our loved ones. Have a great week everyone and thanks for being patient with me.


  1. Hey Bro! Didn't know you blog too. Nice post though. Will be checking you out from time to time.

  2. It's already a soap opera if u ask me, or even a full blown nollywood's "desperate ladies" for a title?...

    lol @ "furrier delights underneath"...