Tuesday, October 13, 2009

A Tribute to My Dear Condom

A good week to all and sundry. Tis another week God has given us. I somehow feel the need to apologise for the dark poem I posted last week but choose not to do so on account of the fact that I did say from the onset that I would like to share my highs and lows with you my gentle folks. For who is it that calls him/herself a friend that does not share all seasons with that one he or she claims to be beholden to. Thank you for your patronage.

This week is on a lighter note and I think the title is self explanatory so there’s no need to bore you with verbose words. I have tried to make my meaning in the poem as clear as possible but the playful and mystery loving part of me keeps getting the better of me and so I end up using words that try to provoke images in colour. I was actually inspired to write this one after watching the psycho thriller Fatal Attraction where Glen Close’s character was murderously bent on ruining Michael Douglas’ character’s life. The startling thing about it was that I was physically( okay maybe mentally, but the fact is I was there) there with him when he was having raw blissful sex with Glen on the kitchen sink and in the elevator to later on became chillingly aware of the consequences of my previous five minute stints as she boiled his family bunny. This is my humble attempt at a poetic fatal attraction. Enjoy!

My brother, my friend,
My protector, my armour.
Thou protectest my head as thou leadst
Me into the dark cloying passages
Of joy
And of mystery.
The viscous and the vicious loomed out
Of their ambush.
The walls like octopi closed in and engulfed me.
Back and forth and grunting,
Cross eyed,
A bemused smile
Fixed across my face,
I struggled to extricate myself
But two steely vice entwined themselves
Around my back.
Finally, with spasmodic convulsions I spewed
Millions of lives
Which you held in check.
Thank you my raincoat
For protecting me from the acid rain.
I come out dry and safe
From painful pees
And sharply braked education
With two lives in my hands
In the startled bondage
Of an unhappy marriage.

That’s all folks so please do have a great week everyone.


  1. Thanks Kalu-you paid Condom a timely and well-deserved tribute. Loved the style :-)

  2. Well written BUT really dirty mind Kalu. I don't think you are getting that "Priest" part anymore after this poem.


  3. I are a bad boy. I THINK I LIKE IT

  4. formerly stealth readerOctober 14, 2009 at 5:18 PM

    "cross eyed" hahaha dat is my best line in d poem. the imagery is priceless.

  5. You're a multi talented guy. Keep it up