Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Prelude to A Calabar Christmas!

Good week everybody! Anyone feeling christmasy yet? Because I am. I don’t know why I’m so excited about this particular season this year given that I just had a mini fight with my Frieda – she’s not talking to me – on account of the fact that I cannot spend Christmas with her this year, our second together. Worse still, she’s at that time of the month when everything and nothing makes sense. I will not mention the word; we made a pact that I’d never mention that word when the visitor approaches and she’s feeling all hormonal at the risk of losing my life or worse still, eating burnt food! So pardon me my gentle folks but you are not coming between me and my tummy. It is interesting though, this phenomenon, I have never experienced anything like it in my life – okay maybe so, but it was in a much lesser scale then. During this period I have to cuddle, comfort, never ever EVER use a harsh word on her because she cries so easily. If any character in any movie, newspaper story, or new dumps his wife for a younger filly or cheats on her, I get the blame. If she has a nightmare where I happen to be the antagonist, I get the blame. Never mind that my face could easily change into someone else’s in the course of the accursed dream, I still get the blame. I then have to pacify her and persuade her to go back to sleep so I can make amends and right the wrong I inflicted on her in the dream. The brunt of my fury is now on my main man Tiger. The man is a tiger! My guy answer im name true true. Fifteen mistresses that we know of? Man o man! Oh, sorry babes! That was disgusting! How could he? At least if he had to let the news leak, why did he have to do it during this period? And now I’m on my way to Calabar on a working holiday, my ears are ringing with admonitions on where to eat and where not to eat. I must only eat hotel food and nowhere else. I must call from time to time to reassure her of my safety - and of her security. Why does the one I love just have to be so wonderfully complicated? What’s with me and moody women? Why can’t simple just mix with its fellow simple companion – you know, birds of the same feather? I wouldn’t have anyone else though. Like Drake’s song says “You the #%@#ing best!”

This week I have little to write about as I have been banned from writing about the work I’ll be doing in Calabar until it’s done. The company wants to keep its secrets secret and have the element of surprise over its competitors. That’s fine by me, but be assured that my tongue will run like my belly on a bad day when it is done. Instead of looking forward to the tradtional Christmas rice and chicken stew, ( that’s for wimps) I’ll be looking forward to afang, afere, ekpang nkwukwo meals in Calabar – on the hotel’s menu of course!

Do have a great Christmas everybody, and a prosperous New Year. Let’s have a fun filled and, of course, reflective holiday! Now I know why this season is exciting for me; I’m sharing it with you and would very much love to hear about yours and your plans for this season as well. Have a great week everybody and I love you all.


  1. Merry Christmas to you too Kalu and enjoy your Calabar trip. Are they having a carnival this year too?

    Mine will be spent in my city with a couple of friends...

  2. Seasons Greetings Kalu ,to you and Freida and the rest of your family.From a avid reader of your blog in Trinidad and Tobago.

  3. Happy Xmas... Cant wait to hear about this Calabar project!!!

  4. on the hotels' menu ofcourse! hahahahahahahahaha
    tiger's got issuezzzzzz (am sure he's wiser now) frieda is hilarious! LOL
    rice and stew for wimps? lol while i want to disagree i am forced to agree cos i just want alcohol(vodka) and cake or icecream for xmas while playing coldplay and being quiet(depressed)even though my caribbean landlady has invited me for lunch(i shud take her up on her offer)but am sure long throat me will probably still eat rice............am hoping my friends suggest something fun and drag me along cos i soo do not want to be left to my own devices.........*sigh* i guess i wil make an effort to be happy.........(am not feeling d xmas, maybe cos am not in 9ja, or..............whateva)

  5. Merry Christmas to you, Frieda and everyone visiting the blog.
    Yet again this Christmas I miss the joy of being with my biological family. Decorating Christmas tree, baking cakes for the "whole village",sometimes walking to and from church, introducing ourselves every year to our village folks who claimed we'd grown and changed, the different choirs waking us up on Christmas eve who could use a few bucks after a dozen of songs etc. There's no place like home for Christmas.

  6. Kalu, may the peace and joy of the holiday season be with you througout the coming year.

    Merry Christmas and Best Wishes for a Happy New Year.

  7. Merry Christmas to you and your family. we din't decorate this year for some reasons(i missed that), but the joy of the season has spread a peace that surpasses all understanding and made xmas a memorable one.

    May God's blessings be yours. May you find Peace, love and fulfilled dreams. And may you have so much joys to share with us this 2010 and beyond. Happy New Year K!

  8. Happy new year...and I'm liking Frieda...very gentlemanly of you to take the blame for what you did or did not do...that's the way forward!!!lol

  9. Your truly a breath of fresh air, spent e best past of my saturday reading all ur post (just joined ur blog) and I must say I really enjoyed ur narraton of ur life remind's me of Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie writing style. Looking forward to the next post.

    Hope u had a great xmas n a great start into 2010...