Wednesday, February 10, 2010

A Sub Space Adventure

 Good week, and morning, to everybody. I wish I was in a very bad mood right now but ‘unfortunately’, I’m not. Why this absurd wish? Well one of my beloved readers, Formerly Stealth Reader – God I love that name!- once said on my post, Carnival Free , that I always sound so jolly and that she, I think it’s a she, wants something angry from me. Frieda laughed so hard at that one. The times she’s had to play nursemaid to my endless frustrations, anxiety and uncertainties are legion. But then again, she is a true woman; she always makes sure my laundry is thoroughly washed clean before hanging it out to dry. So Stealth, your wish may be a long while to come but come it may, owing to the fact that Nigeria has a lot of anger in her. It’s been fuel scarcity for the past three months so for now let’s hope that that the patriotic citizens of this country, and they are in the majority, prevail over the traitors in keeping her as a unified peaceful whole. Not perfect I know, but it is the first step to taking us to the road to prosperity AND accountability.

  Last weekend was sublime. I had been invited to go along with a professional body to inaugurate an upstanding citizen as the patron of the body. The occasion was to take place in Warri, our host’s hometown, an oil producing city in the Niger Delta area of Nigeria. We were to, after the ceremony, spend the night at the host’s holiday resort in Escravos, and island about a hundred kilometres from the coast. Enter stage left, my first miracle, the airplane. No, it wasn’t just any airplane, it was a propeller aeroplane! I had been longing to get into one because I’d heard about its flair for depositing one’s ingested dinner onto the one’s, or his/her neighbour’s, lap by way of turbulence. I’ll fast forward to where I excitedly boarded the plane after ogling the pretty black propellers that looked like magnified domestic fan blades made from liquorice. I stooped all the way down the small cabin to my window seat which was positioned right beside the wing, buckled my seat belt and waited for the engines to start. They did, with a whirr, but the blades didn’t turn! And then they did! Faster and faster they went until they became a very fine blur. I wondered what it would to be like to be deaf and walk backwards into them. Would I feel the pain? Would death be instantaneous? What would the blood spatter be like? Would it be all over the wings and fuselage? My fixation with Dexter is getting the better of me. We taxied to the runway, turned, and began to hurtle down the tarmac with unbelievable power. In fascination I watched as the wheels were retracted into the overhead wings and we were airborne. I must admit I watched with some trepidation we climbed reluctantly higher and higher. I will also admit that take offs and touch downs scare the daylights out of me. I always feel like the engines might give up on take off and send us crashing back to earth. I thought of Frieda and wondered how the news would be broken to her, what falling back to earth would be like. Would I scream or even have the time to soil my boxers? All these and more I thought about as I looked at the miniaturised busy Lagos plan shrinking further away beneath me. The seat belt sign went off and the apprehension passed.

   It was a pleasant flight; the sun was out and the coast along which we were flying was clearly visible apart from the occasional fluffy clouds that dotted the skyscape (is there a word like that?) beneath us. I could tell when we got to the mangrove swamps from the large bodies of water and numerous spider web networks of the same element that transversed the area. As I watched, the undercarriage came out as we began to prepare for descent,  and I felt like we were a big bird about to swoop on its prey and I felt my belly drop in my mouth when we did swoop. I’m sure my face went a few shades lighter as I watched the wings bank this way and that, my fingers digging into my armrest, the aircraft readying itself for a smooth landing while staring at the hypnotic veneer of the landscape looming closer and closer, wondering if the two would be married together in a perfect mesh. We landed.

 For me it was an adventure. It was an adventure because it had all the ingredients needed for any adventure, endeavour or enterprise: will, excitement, research, faith and fear, and the acknowledgement of all five in one. These, I think, are what make the experience of an adventure so exhilarating. The fact that one conquers ones fear, powers on with his will and faith, is motivated by the excitement and contains risk through research is what makes it an accomplishment no matter how small or big. I for one can say I have accomplished a propeller planed adventure to Warri. I would love to hear yours, big or small, in your anticipated comments on this post. Have a great week everyone!               



  1. wow i am not sure i wasn't with you on that journey you made it so real! i think you can safely add script writing to your list of talents if you haven't thot about that you should, i am no stealth reader just one of your favourite persons :). You don't want to know about my adventure to the labour ward so be careful what you wish for. A very good week to you and love to Frieda. PS forget about all those gruesome description of death you are going to be here for a long time if Christ tarries. waiting to read from you again.

  2. You did describe that well and that made me wonder if you're a writer or working on a script. My craziest adventure would be bungee jumping. Not the one you jump down but here, you're catapulted into the sky at the mercy of the bungee cord. Exhilarating and scary at the same time.

  3. lol this post got me cracking up badly! i dont know if its the mixture of seeing my name here and going yay me!(thanx Kalu and i came up with the name ALL BY MYSELF! lol....i think your name is cool too even if it is your real name) lol (ok its not the reason). i love your use of imagery.
    yeah dexter is soo cool........have missed out on a season (sad face)
    i have always loved dat name escravos (sounds spanish.....foreign i dunno just like it)
    hmm i have been in a small plane too, i live on a caribbean island so going to other islands, thats what we use, i guess i am used to it now lol but i am sure your plane is smaller than ours. yeah landling n takeoffs are horrible for me too (i clutch my arm rest, clench my eyes shut, try to calm my beating heart, chew gum (if i have any) and take deep breaths, sometimes i exclaim inaudibly or unintelligibly or have a crazed look in my eyes!! it doesnt matter the size of the craft though very big planes are easier for me to handle
    ok! i dont know why i cant think of some scary adventurous things i have done, maybe cos i have no memory or my memory eludes me. hmmmmm anyways! i am planning on going ziplining with my friends on the 13th, i guess thats an adventure! i hope it goes great unlike myne i choose not to be a daredevil in real life lol even though i fancy myself to be one.........perhaps an alter ego fancy lol...............hi frieda!!(eager wave and toothy grin)

  4. I thought surviving the journey from Lagos to Owerri by car was an acomplishment. I was scared as hell it being my first time In Nigeria and driving down the motorways and seeing overturned burning cars, street fights, crashes and random guys running from the bushes throwing down stuff to puncture your tyres...

  5. I was enjoying the write up and wondering how many times I have cheated death as far as air travel is concerned until you mentioned the name Frieda so I decided to start categorizing your write-ups. Frieda to power two(F2) means a good write up cos she was mentioned 2x. F3= an even better write up. So pls tell her that am very jealous. Have a blessed day and keep writing cos you are good.- Uju N.

  6. Hi K,

    I hope you have a wonderful Val?

    You are so different from your colleagues, I mean taking time out to blog. The hardship in Nigeria is enough adventure, thinking everyday how to make ends meet. Keep posting.
    Your Fan.