Too Sexy!

A good week to everyone! So long apart, yet so long together. In the latter I revel to keep buoyant when I sink to the murky depths below until I bob back to the dizzying heights I constantly reach for. Well, that’s my stint at poetry this morning; my little way of expunging the little madness that has built up over the night. I expunged yesterday’s by, on a whim, opening up Betty’s bonnet, climbing onto her engine and jumping up and down it. I was gentle though; I just wanted to feel like I was on top of things. It sounds crazy but it worked; my mind was clearer afterwards, not minding the curious amused looks I got from my neighbours. I had a unique experience in modelling recently. It was a photo session that was for a photo gallery and of course I would get copies of the pictures for my own use.

The photographer, Tyna, showed me some photos of celebrities and models in various poses; some shirtless, others in more daring revelations. I told her point blank she could perish any thought of me going shirtless to pose for anything until I get my six pack back, or anything coming close to it. It is now I’ve begun to really empathise with our women who have just given birth and the battle fought to regain, or hang unto, ones youth. Long and short of it is I said no. We perused some concepts and settled on some fairly safe concepts where I wouldn’t be terribly compromised. In one of them, I would be the strong silent type rescuing a near nude damsel in distress from some horrible calamity. I would carry her in my arms while she, near fainting, would still have the presence of mind to clasp her naked breasts with her hands – which I looked forward to with some fever. We fixed the date for our shoot.

The day came and I showed up at the studio quite early as I wanted to be done and leave before the rush hour evening traffic began. I was introduced to the model I would be working very closely with. I can’t remember her name because it was a very unusual but lovely name. She was quite pretty, not strikingly so but the kind that grows on one and never lets go once the claws are latched on. She was dark complexioned and lithe in stature, and had full lips that I could tell were quite soft to the kiss – yes, I do look out for things like that. Anyway, we got talking, ostensibly to get to know one another better to work up good chemistry for the impending shoot. We flirted with each other quite a bit, which is where the fun lies; to dangle carrots before one another with sultry hints of what could be but walking away without eating the fruit. It’s like having really good foreplay and walking away before having the sex that will condemn one to getting annoying phone calls in the middle of the night for want of attention or silly questions regarding what I’m thinking of or if I’m thinking of her. I can hardly get my arms around Frieda’s wahala (and I have very long arms) let alone ten other babes’. I needn’t have worried because she was a professional; I could tell it was just work for her and nothing else, which suited me very well.

We went to do our make up where I, to my annoyance, and at Nkem’s insistence, had to shave my ‘unibrow’ as she calls it – the continuous growth of hair between the eyebrows. That, as far as I’m concerned is how I was made and I don’t see how I have to pander to those pansy perfect ‘pretty boy’ looks just because it’s perceived as ‘clean’ and what female fans want to see! I even had mascara applied to my lashes, to the extent that they were clumped together in twos and threes! You know those lashes they show in magazines where two or three lashes join to form sharp points at the end? That’s how mine ended up. The makeup artist swore blind that they would not be seen by the camera and their sole function was to give me an intense look. Don’t laugh I beg of you lot; I write this with a lot of bravery and consternation which means that my readiness to open my vulnerable sides to you in future will depend on the outcome of this post. Readers beware! Anyway, simmering down and moving right on, I finished mine quickly and went into the studio to take some solo shot as my colleague was still doing her make up – she was to spend a further hour and a half finishing hers before coming to join me.

The rest of what I went through, are they not written in the post to come in just a few days from this one? Is not this post restrained by space to compel me to halt this one right now and am I not emboldened to wish that everybody has a great week ahead? They are, it is, I am!