The Cassandro!

A pretty week to all. This is Kalu calling for the umpteenth and repeated time. In vain do you cast charmed circles around… Don’t mind me! I just remembered Wole Soyinka’s famous poem ‘Abiku’, which I did in secondary school about the errant arrogant child changeling that comes to torment its mother in repeated cycles of births and subsequent deaths. Don’t ask me why I thought of this little poem of all times in my life ‘cause I don’t know. Oh maybe it’s to do with the endemic corruption that’s threatening to grind this beloved country of ours to a halt. I had a horrible day yesterday. Well not so horrible; the first half was fine. Did my workout, prayed and went about my business for the day and when I was done, went about looking for petrol for my thirsty Betty. Hardly any petrol station was selling fuel and the ones that did had mile long queues trailing behind them and causing traffic snarl ups. I joined one of them with the intention of filling up my tank and a twenty five litre jerry can in my boot. After about three hours I managed to get fuel but managed to fill my jerry can three quarters of the way – for the same amount of money I would normally fill my tank AND my jerry can with! It was painful – still is. Bit like flushing one’s hard earned money down the drain in a country that’s the eighth or ninth largest oil producer in the world.

The situation in this country is becoming unbearable and what makes it even more annoying is that no one heeded my suggestions in my earlier posts on ways to deal with this prevalent problem. I cried, shouted, begged to no avail. Everyone thought I was talking rubbish, until now. I have now become like Cassandra of the Greek mythology whom Apollo, the god of the sun had cursed after she’d repeatedly spurned his love advances. She would be able to see the future but no matter how much she cried and clamoured, no one would believe her. I’m Cassandro on two counts.

Firstly, did I not, in ‘A River Runs Through It’ suggest that we patriotic Nigerians, and in legion, go to the central corridors of power of the country and empty our bladders and offend them into action with the stench of their corruption? Did I not? We would not be here now if we did as I bid. Secondly, did I not, in em - bo! I can’t remember which post - did I not beg for support in joining me to ask Frieda to let me buy a motorbike. Not a sports bike but a touring one. Would I be bothering myself with the fuel scarcity going on now? I’d be riding free as the bird without a care in the world. What Betty uses in a day my new girlfriend would use in a month! But noooo, you lot just had to focus on the dangerous side of an only ten percent accident rate that occurs among bikers! As if I’m a teenager who perpetually throws caution to the wind. Indeed! But, all is not lost; I’m a very reasonable man who understands that people do err when they don’t see the big picture. So now, with the current and likely chronic fuel crisis, can you dump Frieda’s wagon and get on mine and try to convince her to let me get a bike so I can discharge my pressing duties with ease. I love her and do intend sticking around for a while so I’m not going to be reckless. Remember, one good turn deserves another!

I’ll quickly post this and rush off to Maryland (Lagos) to see my colleague and friend and get some black market fuel for the day – hint, hint! Have a great week nevertheless everyone!