Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Valentine

A good every to everyone and a belated Valentine’s Day to all. I’m in such a good mood today even though I’m at work and am yet to shoot a single scene where my character threatens a poor hapless woman begging for her life. I love being a bad guy. Maybe it’s that quest to know if I’ll be able to eke a living for myself in the underworld should the surface and middle worlds fail me. All those years of day dreaming are finally paying off. I’m high on two very strong cups of coffee and a bottle of Coca Cola and am listening to Enya’s “Now We Are Free”, the soundtrack for the movie Gladiator ; not the best combination for someone who’s trying to keep both feet on the ground. Anyway how was everyone’s day yesterday?

Mine began yesterday with me going out to pick my script up at the Tinsel office and ending up spending four hours on the road for what should have lasted thirty minutes. Valentine. I got there and kissed Blessing, the pretty receptionist happy birthday, got my scripts and ran off before my favourite ladies espied me standing dangerously close to the local tuck shop which was already bursting at the seams with the season’s goodies. Valentine. Determined to have a story to tell you my readers, I went to give myself a treat at Oh La La, a confectionery in the heart of Ikeja, to get some carrot and cheesecakes. Oooh they do make exceedingly good cakes, so much so that my greed overtook me and compelled me to add a Black Forest cake to the loot. Anyway, here’s the interesting bit. I took my shopping over to the counter to pay, and in high spirits, I wished the pretty cashier a happy Valentine’s Day. I must have said it in a low voice because she didn’t seem to hear me so wished her a happy Val’s again, my voice a teeny notch higher. She looked up, smiled sweetly at me and said “Oh thank you sir. Same to you too sir. You didn’t come with your wife sir?” I blinked, then said “Oh, I left her at home.” I promptly paid for my cakes and promptly left. Valentine. E never finish o!

I drove towards home and along the way I remembered that my generating set was a bit low on fuel, so I stopped by a petrol station to put some in the jerry can in Betty’s boot. The petrol attendant at my pump was very effusive and attended to me with gusto. He filled my can up and stowed it in the boot. I thanked him, paid him and made to get into my car when I heard him mumble something ‘to himself’. I opened my door and heard it again, this time a little louder but still incomprehensible. I had by this discerned that he was trying to pass something across to me and asked him to please repeat himself. With some disquiet and with his eyes hovering somewhere below my knees, he blurted out, “Oga (sir), I de wish you happy Falentine! Abi you no love me? Because I no get breast for my chest?” I reached into my pocket and handed him a hundred Naira note. Valentine. The rest of the evening was spent checking out a new drinking joint with my friends Femi and Cheta where we watched a football match and flirted harmlessly with an amiable barmaid. We left at about midnight, got home and I crashed on the couch.

Surprisingly, I woke up at 5am this morning before even my alarm clock did! Now I’m still nervous from the excess caffeine I’ve bolstered myself with. It’s 6pm now and I still have five more scenes before I can leave for home – late night today. It’s okay though, at least you get to know what my Valentine was like – well part of it, because I still have to convince madam that only she was on my mind throughout yesterday. I will survive. Have a great week everyone!

15 comments:

  1. i envy u,ur falentime was fun,i spent mine at home cos my atm refuse to pay and d queue in d bank was longer than two of my shoelaces tied together.and no man to wish me a happy vals day.

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  2. Ezenwome Chukwukadibia KingsleyFebruary 16, 2011 at 1:37 PM

    I must say U have great command of English;I like reading ur blog each time I come across one or more.
    I will also say that the persons you met on the date of Valentine's day,all treated you nicely and diligently.Your personality being an actor makes then feel free with you as a preacher of good morals,which is paramount in a society like ours.A great documented day indeed.Goodluck famous*

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  3. Kal, well done for the tour of val's day.But u made laugh my eye out with when u said;"abi becouse i no get breast."i wonder u would have laughed as well..You pique me by the way you overflogged ur day in writing.But my val's day was a friction,a remarkable script that can't be read.

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  4. Where is Frieda? That was a good day for me too. You're really playing d bad guy role well in Tinsel,seeing Masters in action sends chills up my spine,seriously,you're that good

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  5. I saw Tinsel while I was in Nigeria last month, well done. And I was hoping you spent your Val with Frieda?

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  6. Tinsel is a very nice soap and they make desserts sweet as sin at Oh La La.

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  7. hey K! glad u had a wonderful vals day, you spent it getting cheesecake! CHCHEEEEEEESECAKEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! (i had to use d caps and exclamation marks, i feel the lowercase letters are insufficient to convey my emotions; the way i feel about cheesecake; cookies and cream cheesecake, blueberry cheesecake, strawberry cheesecake yum-MIE! oh wow! i am drooling here, since i have been in naija i have been disappointed by the cheesecake served me at one kool hotel whose chefs should know better than trying to give me what looks and tastes like curdled/ crusty? (suspect consistency) milk for cheese jeez!!! i was begining to think the perfect cheesecake was a myth here in naija.
    *aside* maybe i should bake mine, but i am feeling too lazy and not yet in my martha stewart, ina garten mode.... *breathe in* *deep breaths* anyhoo when i come to lag i will def. check out oooh lala and pig out.
    Oh right! ...uhm valentines....uhm mine was normal i guess.
    .....uhm now about that cheesecake, was it any good?......lol

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  8. Hi K, mine was very nice with the usual lovey dovey. Your post cracked me up with the "falentine" guy. My man, you will definitely survive, bear it.

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  9. lol. You guys misunderstood the lovely cashier - my failure as a writer. she probably thought I was hitting on her and sought to politely put me in my place by 'reminding' me of where my priorities lay. Thanks, Formerly Stealth Reader, for finally making me break my rule of staying away from the comment board. Yes they do make exceedingly good cakes, cheese and all, at Oh La La's. :-D

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  10. This your falentine post is fantabulous, lol.
    Nice one Kalu!

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  11. What a ride on valentine´s day! OOh you are so creative, keep it up.

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  12. Hmmmmmm...........i'm seriously begining to doubt the existence of "Freida"......how come she conveniently traveled overseas before val's day.....
    Mr K,...u b good story teller..lol

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  13. @Anonymous 8:57 you are too funny.

    @Kalu your post is too funny!

    Greetings to you from Barbados (in the Caribbean). You're an excellent actor.

    Looking forward to reading more of your post.

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  14. *fireworks* **banger* *knock out* and all thanks to my crazy cheese cake comment.
    now the veil has been lifted dare you close it? lol

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